This week starting a few days before Christmas has been a really difficult one for me. In the future, I will be disclosing the exact events that lead up to now and the players. For now, I will put the circumstances playing out.
In two short weeks, I will again be forced to move back into my older 2004 van and live on the streets and right now it has been snowing for weeks and we are having one of the coldest winters on record. In September I finally got onto my feet. I got an office, did advertising, was building clients, created a bunch of local classes for late winter and early spring. All based on getting into a travel trailer on property owned by people who I will disclose in the future once I am off the land.
I finally was going to start creating income, building so that I could in the future get a real place to live and thrive. Last week I found out that I have to move off the land, I have been all used up and the verbal, written agreement on their end voided. They know that they are tossing out a human being who works their ass off into the dead of winter here in Northern Nevada. More on this in the future.
Whenever I am in some kind of event or process I move to do my own inner work first. I look at my side in such things. Not to judge who is at fault but the underlying energies that simulate the events. Then I look at the participants and the overall way the events and choices were made.
I am not sure if I have an overwhelming amount of people attracted to me that are users, evildoers, people compliant in others choices and help to carry them out, thief and people who generally just do not give a fuck about other people even though they pretend to, the pretenders who live in their reality that is not even based in this reality. Or am I living in a world that 90 percent of the population is just dark, evil, sociopaths living among us good people?
All my years of shamanic work leads me to phrases that were left in the books of Carlos Castaneda about his Native teacher Don Juan Matus about our minds:
“Every one of us human beings has two minds. One is totally ours, and it is like a faint voice that always brings us order, directness, purpose. The other mind is a foreign installation. It brings us conflict, self-assertion, doubts, hopelessness.” Don Juan Matus
“For the present, it will be sufficient that I repeat to you what I have said before about our two minds. One is our true mind, the product of all our life experiences, the one that rarely speaks because it has been defeated and relegated to obscurity. The other, the mind we use daily for everything we do, is a foreign installation.” Don Juan Matus
“Sorcerers believe that the predators have given us our systems of beliefs, our ideas of good and evil, our social mores. They are the ones who set up our hopes and expectations and dreams of success or failure. They have given us covetousness, greed, and cowardice. It is the predators who make us complacent, routinary, and egomaniacal.”
“But how can they do this, don Juan?” I asked, somehow angered further by what he was saying. “Do they whisper all that in our ears while we are asleep?”
“No, they don’t do it that way. That’s idiotic!” don Juan said, smiling. “They are infinitely more efficient and organized than that. In order to keep us obedient and meek and weak, the predators engaged themselves in a stupendous maneuver—stupendous, of course, from the point of view of a fighting strategist. A horrendous maneuver from the point of view of those who suffer it. They gave us their mind! Do you hear me? The predators give us their mind, which becomes our mind. The predators’ mind is baroque, contradictory, morose, filled with the fear of being discovered any minute now.
“I know that even though you have never suffered hunger,” he went on, “you have food anxiety, which is none other than the anxiety of the predator who fears that any moment now its maneuver is going to be uncovered and food is going to be denied. Through the mind, which, after all, is their mind, the predators inject into the lives of human beings whatever is convenient for them. And they ensure, in this manner, a degree of security to act as a buffer against their fear.”
“It’s not that I can’t accept all this at face value, don Juan,” I said. “I could, but there’s something so odious about it that it actually repels me. It forces me to take a contradictory stand. If it’s true that they eat us, how do they do it?”
Don Juan had a broad smile on his face. He was as pleased as punch. He explained that sorcerers see infant human beings as strange, luminous balls of energy, covered from the top to the bottom with a glowing coat, something like a plastic cover that is adjusted tightly over their cocoon of energy. He said that that glowing coat of awareness was what the predators consumed, and that when a human being reached adulthood, all that was left of that glowing coat of awareness was a narrow fringe that went from the ground to the top of the toes. That fringe permitted mankind to continue living, but only barely.
As if I had been in a dream, I heard don Juan Matus explaining that to his knowledge, man was the only species that had the glowing coat of awareness outside that luminous cocoon. Therefore, he became easy prey for an awareness of a different order, such as the heavy awareness of the predator.
He then made the most damaging statement he had made so far. He said that this narrow fringe of awareness was the epicenter of self-reflection, where man was irremediably caught. By playing on our self-reflection, which is the only point of awareness left to us, the predators create flares of awareness that they proceed to consume in a ruthless, predatory fashion.
They give us inane problems that force those flares of awareness to rise, and in this manner, they keep us alive in order for them to be fed with the energetic flare of our pseudo concerns.
There must have been something to what don Juan was saying, which was so devastating to me that at that point I actually got sick to my stomach.
After a moment’s pause, long enough for me to recover, I asked don Juan: “But why is it that the sorcerers of ancient Mexico and all sorcerers today, although they see the predators, don’t do anything about it?”
“There’s nothing that you and I can do about it,” don Juan said in a grave, sad voice. “All we can do is discipline ourselves to the point where they will not touch us. How can you ask your fellow men to go through those rigors of discipline? They’ll laugh and make fun of you, and the more aggressive ones will beat the shit out of you. And not so much because they don’t believe it. Down in the depths of every human being, there’s an ancestral, visceral knowledge about the predators’ existence.” Don Juan Matus
AND.. here it was amongst the words of Don Juan Matus what the truth really is about the foreign mind and why people act the way they do, because they are about to be found out and people like myself find them out and why we are dealt with so aggressively and violently: “The predators give us their mind, which becomes our mind. The predators’ mind is baroque, contradictory, morose, filled with the fear of being discovered any minute now.” People are not in control of their own minds and they will lie, use, steal, discredit, destroy, and get rid of those who get close to the truth, the discovery of their: shadow self, preditor, fear of what they have done is exposed and more labels about this other self who we allow to run our lives and we knee jerk react to which I like the term that also Don Juan Matus had a name for which was the petty tyrant. If you conform your life into materialism which Rudolph Steiner talks about you will become this petty tyrant that Don Juan Matus talks about.
As I work on my own expansion of soul, spirit something I know is clear for me, I will never submit to lies or cover up lies and bad deeds. My expansion currently is about no submission no matter what might be done to me, all we really have is our own integrity. My expansion requires me to stand my ground, put on notice the oppression’er that has who constantly destroys, discredits, uses, abuses, lies about others in an attempt to cover up their own secrets and stay ahead of the uncovering of such.
I might need to move away from description fo the petty tyrant to calling them the Pretenders who distract and project a life they do not have and are really not living to play out their own inner mind theater. When you come within a certain proximity of their theater you are given by them a role to play out and if you do they reward you, if you refuse to play the role and expose it then you are with all their manipulation and control, even utilizing the other actors in their play against you. Just like in the movie the matrix, you get noticed and agent Smith works on getting rid of you in a direct, lethal and violent manner.
I would like to end this blog with a request to those that are awake. I would really like a nice, warm, amazing, stable, kind place in which to live after January 15, 2022. I would like this place to be a place where people who are like-minded would like me to open a practice to help others get well. If you have such a place and you can assist me in getting there with my retired amazing therapy dog let me know. this place is where the new reality and paradigm is already got a foundation and we can start building something amazing for this world.
PS This is not just about money, donations though they are always accepted gratefully! This is about me finding the right and perfect place in which to flower, spread my wings and benefit people, animals, environments, and the mother earth in ways I have not been able to. This is about safety, space, rest, peace, contemplation that I need in order to build for those who have suffered to give them a place to go, but a place I can regenerate them, release them from the memory bondage held in the body from the petty tyrants, preditors, and pretenders. Link for contact: https://coe-llc.com/contact-coe-moc-rrs-bridgenit/